Anti of solitude: the second thought
this story begins, when i’m at junior high school. The summer that i had before became the fall inside my self..
all i have to do thi moment is, to clear my mind about something old and never comeback and change it with something new, and i’m trying to put together my heart piece into one piece, alone, no one knows and i’m sure i’m not telling anyone about that six years.
the first year seems blurry and i feel awkward in some way, aloners as always, shabby, pathetic, kinda geek, and i feel so inferior all the time i spent in the school. but then, some friend guide me to a new sight, and give me a hope to be brave in friendship, and so, they lead me to a group, contain 6 people, each of them have their own personality, has each life but then we’re together, in every time we sit in a 2×3 position or something like that, before in our junior high, the boy must sit with the girl, that way can extend the boy mind to the girlish one, and so the girl know what is boy looks like. that was a great decision from the headmaster, but in a simple terms, without a doubt that position will reduce the chance to go with conversation while in the class, because girls and boys are acting awkwardly next to other sex, but still they can feel the terms of “like”or “monkey love”, lol. however, that position aren’t always reduce the chance, it also can increase the sound of conversation because every pair might have the same sight and so, the conversation began to the climax. That was the first year. lot of things happened, many of them i can’t tell because yeah, it’s to embarassing.
next to the second year. A new middle schoolers comes and now i’m who was a newbie becoming a senior. every little things aren’t so different but i found something in the rough, the first year girls, looks lovely and kinda cute, haha, not so far from that sight, i feel i might fallen on her, and so it goes.
love stories begin in here, but we’d better not to give a high expectation from this, all i could do was just waiting and waiting, and adore her from the distance, like a dwarf who fall in love with moon, something like that.. all imagination burst from this clumsy body, obsession, happy endings, togetherness and everything beautiful discharge from my head into my mind when i’m looking to her. there’s a time when i could see her clearly, because, whenever i am going to attend drawing class; which i choose it between the other art class, so she’ll be attending the other class not so far from my class, so yeah, i always keep on eye on her, is it cute? no it is not.
time change under the chronograph and nothing happened between me and her, i can’t get close to her, and well, i am not a good lover, but maybe a great looser until the end of my junior high school life. the one in my mind: there’s no hope, i can’t be the one like everyone who stand beside her, i’m just a geeky boys…and the last phrase: “why must i have a girlfriend? i’m just a little boy, love the other once then forget it, and by the time we apart, and so our friendship vanished” and so, untul i reach the third class, i never be with her, and again my recovery from this hurdle are bit hard, but it seems, this time i can forget the first one, and also the second one
this part of stories aren’t so nice to read, because, in that reality, the truth isn’t so good, and seems no good ending in this stories.
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